The Weight...

The weight that a grieving father carries around with him is astonishing. 
Fathers don't get the same support as mothers do.
They don't have books written for them (at least not nearly as many).
They don't get the phone calls and the texts.
They get the "how is (insert grieving mom's name here)?"

Yet, they hurt. Their hearts are broken just like the mothers'. They yearn for their child to be back in their arms. To be able to protect their baby from all the bad in the world. Yet, when their child gains their angel wings, they can't protect them anymore. They didn't protect them well enough. At least that's what they think, but it couldn't be further from the truth.

I know with every ounce of my being, if my husband could have traded places with our daughter, he would have in a heartbeat. He crumbled with every piece of bad news we received, but still remained so optimistic.

Fathers need to just pull their boots up by their straps and go back to work. Their job is to provide for their family. So they go back to their everyday life, carrying so much weight on theirs shoulders. The weight of their own grief. The weight of their wife's grief. The weight of their other children's grief. The weight of it not being socially acceptable to cry, to have bad days, to be angry. They can't just bury themselves and ignore the world because as much as we wish it wouldn't--life goes on. And when they have their bad days--which are inevitable--they are told to hide it. They hold their wife as tears stream down their face, wishing there was something they could do to take the pain away, but knowing all to well nothing in the world can stop it. No matter what a grieving father does, it is never ever the right thing. But tell me, if you lost your child, what would you do?


My husband is one of a kind. I realize how lucky I am to have such a caring, strong man. He somehow knows just what to say. When to show me a funny picture. When to remind me of the good times. When to just listen. Somehow, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, he picks me back up. Every single day.

Even though his lost our princess too.




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