No Preparing

Everytime I read about another innocent child passing, my heart breaks all over again.

There's absolutely no words that can comfort a grieving parent. The best thing you can do is just be there for them. Listen to them. Many times they won't make sense, but just talking helps tremendously.

I wish that doctors had more answers. So many times parents are left questioning why. Why us? Why our baby? Why did this happen? Unfortunately, there's not always answers so all you can do as a parent is accept it.
You can accept it one day, and then suddenly the next day you can't anymore. There is no getting better. All there is are good days and bad days. And you feel relieved if 2 good days are strung together.

It's strange how quickly your mind takes you back to day you lost your child. I can so vividly see everyone in our home again. My aunts and uncles. My Alvin Sam. My mom and Gonz. I remember exactly what Arianna was wearing. I remember one second her chest was moving with every breath and the next it wasn't. I remember the nurse started looking frantically for a sign. Thankfully she still had a very light pulse so I picked her up and just held her. She passed in my arms with Gonz right next to us. There weren't any tears then. Just rocking her trying to remember everything about her precious face. The weight of her in my arms. Smiling down at her hoping to God there is a Heaven and she's dancing and singing.

When those moments hit, they hit hard. There's no preparing yourself for your child dying in your arms. There's no preparing for planning a funeral. There's no preparing to watch your husband place your daughter in the tiniest coffin. There's no preparing to come home to the quietest house full of all her things.
One second you're responsible for this precious life and all of a sudden she's gone. There's no preparing for that.

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